Tips on How to Stay TF Home

I know you’re bored, going stir crazy, and your kids are driving you crazy. But for the love of God, STAY TF HOME!
960x0Here is a to-do list that can keep you busy today and in the house:

Remember vision boards? You know before Pinterest. OG Millennial’s you know what I’m talking about. Go look around for all those magazines you’ve been hoarding to read “someday” and start cutting! Make a vision board of how you see your life after Quarantine 2020.
Have your kids make one too… Don’t have a poster-board paper? Get creative with all those Amazon boxes that have been piling up and make a vision box?

Have a picnic in the living room with your kids for lunch.

Hook up your linked in profile, we’re all going back to work when this is over, maybe this time off has given you some time to reflect where your career is, and perhaps you might be ready for a change.

Still bored? Too bad, stay home.

Have a media-free night: read a book, play a board game, put your phone away.

Take a chapter out of Marie-Kondo’s book and see if your closet sparks joy. Trust me, after this quarantine, NONE of us are going to fit into those jeans that are sitting in the back of your closet that you think you may someday be able to fit back into.? It ain’t happening; we had too many snacks while locked in the house. Does that spark joy? Nah? Throw em out sis. Better yet go make a Poshmark account and start cataloging your closet and put these clothing items up for sale. You’re out of work, get resourceful.

Turn off the news and turn up the tune. Have a dance party with your kids, go ahead, no one is watching… let loose!

If all else fails to curb your boredom, call your elderly relatives. Have a chat with them, cherish this time on the phone with them and remind yourself WHY TF YOU NEED TO STAY HOME TO PROTECT THEM.

This is the first time in history where we can make a difference by doing absolutely nothing…Don’t fuck this up!

New Year, New You?

Every time the New Year rolls around we are overloaded with Facebook status updates that say things like “New Year, New Me,” “Taking no Ls next year” or my favorite lie “2017 will be MY year.” 

Let’s be real here, turning 2016 into 2017 will not magically transform you into You2.0, nor will it fix the mess that is known as 2016. New Year’s Resolutions are stupid. Yeah, I said it. 

I know as a blogger I am going against the grain by not giving you a list of 20 things to put on your New Year’s Resolution list but the truth is: New Year’s resolutions only add pressure. 2016 has been rough on us all. 130 celebrities died, Brangelina split, America sold its soul to an orange con artist, and worst of all, the killings of unarmed people of color were at an all time high.  We deserve a break. 

How about instead of “New year,  new me” try “New year, same me, different outlook.”

We live in a world where people don’t go out and experience things just to say they’ve done it or for adventure. They go out to take a damn Instagram pic or check-in on Facebook to say “look at me and all the cool shit I do in life. Hah! My life is better than yours.” There is all this pressure to be  the perfect, photo ready, super mom, who has all her shit together. 

But the jig is up ladies: no one has their shit together. That is why we call it the human race. We are all just running around trying to get our shit together!

So in 2017 let’s not add pressure on ourselves to loose weight, find a husband or whatever. Let’s just follow three simple rules that any Mom Jawn can follow:

1. Learn to say “no” to people who expect too much from you and don’t offer anything in return. 

2. Be okay with saying “no” to these people. They will find someone else to suck the life out of. Trust me, you will thank me later. 

3. Cut out anything in your life that is not making you happy. 

Cut off Examples:

Shitty lovers: cut off

People who post things online that annoy, offend, or bring you down: cut off/unfollow 

Friends you have outgrown (people who have been in your life forever, but now bring you down because they are full of negative energy or limit your potential by not being supportive of your ambitions): cut off

Toxic people / relationships: YOU NEED TO CUT IT 

Unnessary spending: cut it

Excuses: cut it.

Saying “I’ll see you next year” at the end of December: cut it, that shit is played out.  

So since 2016 was the year of stupid freaking internet challenges I have a Mom Jawn challenge for you that may actually bring some positive change in your life if done right: 

Instead of writing down your New Year’s Resolutions, write down your Cut Off List of 2017. Post your Cut Off List on twitter and tag me in it @momjawn #MomJawn, or write your Cut Off List on your Facebook status sharing this post. 

Maybe next year I will write a list of resolution ideas for my readers, but this year I want everyone to take the pressure off themselves and just be happy. Happy with themselves, happy with their lives, happy with their parenting, happy in their relationships. Above all I hope you Mom Jawns truly have a HAPPY New year! 

.Bucket List.

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Here is my Bucket List, someday, somehow I will check off everything on this list.

* Indicates a checkmark

  • Live in another country *
  • Sell all my worldly possessions and move to an island*
  • Graduate College
  • See the Northern Lights
  • Meet Jennifer Lopez
  • Take Pictures with my Kids at the Tunnel of Love in Ukraine
  • catch the bouquet at a wedding
  • See the Heart Tree in the Sequoia National Park
  • Go to the Ágitagueda Art Festival in Portugal
  • Explore El Yunque*
  • Punch my daughters father in the face
  • Take a picture with every state sign in America
  • Learn to ride / own a motorcycle
  • Learn to tap dance
  • Eat every meal on a Chinese restaurant menu (not all at once, over time of course)
  • Walk the Skydeck in Chicago
  • Take my kids to Disney
  • Write a letter to myself and open it in 15 years
  • Visit India for the festival of colors and love
  • Celebrate El Dia de Los Muertos in Mexico

This list will be expanded on as I think of new things I want to do in my life. Feel free to comment with suggestions.