You know what’s interesting about the world we live in? Everything, I mean everything is documented. Everything we say on world or American issues are heard loud and clear. Problem is the message never gets across to either side. We hear each other but we don’t bother to understand each other. When the cell phone cameras started documenting the killings of countless unarmed Black men in the country the message was clear: Something is wrong here, some cops are using their power to become judge, jury, and executioner. This was something us in minority communities already knew, the law was acting as if their lives did not matter. From this, Black Lives Matter was dubbed the outcry for those in this country who knew this was wrong. The message was simple and easy to understand: Black Lives Matter, it meant that under the law, everyone no matter their skin should get all the same rights as every American. That a Black man should be able to walk away from a simple traffic stop still breathing, and be able to let the court system work itself out how it should. Simple, they matter, they have families, have children. They have people who depend on and love them, they should be able to continue living no matter the legal circumstance. That a broken taillight should not result in the taking of a human life. It’s not hard to comprehend. And yet, the message could not transcend the invisible lines of America. Along the way, the message got muddled into something else. Across the lines, some heard Black Lives Matter and took it as being Anti-cop. That wasn’t the intent. With that, some started saying things like “Black Lives Matter? How about All Lives Matter?” They harped on this All Lives Matter thing until they were blue in the face. Time went on and the world moved on. But remember everything is documented. So now that we are at a point in history where children of undocumented parents seeking asylum are being ripped apart, many of those who were shouting All Lives Matter are saying this is okay. That if these parents did not want to get separated from their children they should have never come here. They are shouting these things so loud it is hard to even picture them saying something like All Lives Matter. Its almost as if, All Lives Don’t Matter to them. What they forgot was that everything is documented, we were watching, we heard them, and we did not forget. So what is it? All Lives Matter or just the lives of those who look like you?
I haven’t written a blog post in a very long time. I have recently dealt with something that no parent should ever have to experience. I am not ready to write about what happened as I am just trying to keep my shit together and not off myself. Maybe one day I will open up about it, but for right now I cant.
So to keep my mind off things I will write about things that get me fired up. If you been reading my blog you already know that my blog is low-key a political blog disguised as a mom blog 😀 (I hope you have been reading but if not, feel free to browse older posts 🙂
Can we talk about America for a moment? Would that be okay? It seems hard to even figure out where to start given the constant shit show we have had to sit back and watch since 2016. Have you been watching closely? Do you see what’s going on? Something dark is happening in this country and it is so complex with so many layers it is hard to even focus our attention on anything.
So if you are having American Shit Show Induced ADHD let me lay it out for you:
Children: infant to teenagers are being ripped from their parents arms by ICE. Let that sink in, mothers are being ripped from their children and sent off to their native land with no assurance that their babies will be safe or properly taken care of. Imagine that, you spend nine months sacrificing your body for this tiny human that you could not imagine life without and one day an ICE officer grabs your precious, defenseless baby and hauls you away in a van. Could you imagine? No, you couldn’t because what I just described is unimaginable. Imagine coming to this country to give your children a better future only to have those children stolen from you? Because that is what is happening people! These children are legit being kidnapped from their parents.
ICE is losing these children! To make matters worse, these children are getting lost, no not lost in the system, they are literally being lost! It is reported that some 1,500 children of undocumented parents who have been deported have been lost! No one knows their whereabouts. ONE. THOUSAND. FIVE. HUNDRED. Babies, small children and teenagers MISSING! What is happening here is an atrocity.
PBS has confirmed that some of these missing children have been released to human traffickers. HUMAN. FUCKING. TRAFFICKERS! I do not care where you are on the political spectrum, you know this is downright inhumane. And yet, there are still some who try to justify this outright atrocity. For example, White House Chief of Staff John Kelly was quoted “Family separation is a tough deterrent.” Are you kidding me, John Kelly? What a shameful thing to say! But America has been ripping babes from the arms of loving mothers since slavery was legal in the country. It was a crime against humanity then, and its a crime against humanity now!
You see, one topic: deportation, many layers. This is part of the problem, there are so many complex issues plaguing this country at once its hard to know how to help fix the problem.
Next set of issues: GUN CONTROL
I am a veteran, I am trained to fire pretty much every weapon out there. I believe in Americans right to bear arms, however, I am also a human being and a mother, so I am torn on the issue. I want people to be able to exercise their constitutional rights but I don’t want innocent children caught up in the crossfire that our constitutional rights give us. So what do we do? Because what we have been doing is clearly not working, and if you don’t believe me google the statistics for yourself.
Since the first mass school shooting committed by 55-year-old Andrew Keyhoe in 1927 (Bath School Massacre) there have been 333 fatalities from school shootings. Children who went to school and expected it to be a normal day had their lives tragically cut short due to gun violence. Is it fair? No, but this is the reality. It has gotten to the point where a child at a recent school shooting tearfully shared her feelings that it was bound to happen eventually at her school. Do you grasp the emotional damage this is having on every single student in America? Children who have yet to experience gun violence at their school have come to the conclusion that they could be next. America’s youth are sitting ducks and no one in charge wants to make any meaningful change.
Is it the guns or is it psychotropic drugs overly prescribed to America’s youth? Another layer to this is we’re having trouble as a nation to figure out why we are the only country on this earth with this problem, it is an American issue. But it is not hard to make the connections, everything needs to be overhauled and analyzed, from the medical system in place in this country to gun laws, restrictions to responsible gun ownership and more safety precautions in schools. Growing up in the “hood” my schools all had metal detectors in them, why? Because our student body mostly consisted of Hispanics, African Americans, and children of immigrants, you see we grew up in the era where we were wrongfully called Super Predators. But as statistics show People of Color are not the ones committing these vicious mass shooting attacks; it’s White Males they are the real Super Predators. And yet, If the shooter does not commit suicide after taking the lives of others he is almost always taken into custody without incident, weird huh? A black man will be gunned down for having a cell phone in his hands, but a white boy who killed multiple victims gets the white glove treatment from the police. America treats guns better than we do the victims. America will vilify an unarmed black man after murdering him in the media, and on the other hand, it will create a narrative of bullying, isolation and family trouble for a White mass murderer.
I don’t know what can be done about these issues but I do know that every day I kiss my children, hug them, and tell them I love them before I send them off to school. Because in reality; the way things are going… my child’s school may be next. I don’t want to think about it or accept it but unfortunately gun rights and money are more important to this country than our children, This is America.
Levi and Hali Do America
Salam, guys! God willing, everyone is doing well!
This summer has been pretty good to my son and I. We have gone to the beach a few times, gone to the park, went on bike rides through the neighborhood and take the dog on long walks. Despite the Humidity that South Florida has to offer, we try to do an outdoor activity every week. To most, that doesn’t sound like a lot, but I share 50\50 custody of my son with his father, so, we each have 3.5 days with him, and only one of them falls on a weekend. I was talking to one of my closest friends on the phone on a Monday, and we decided there and then that Levi and I would come for a visit. He and his wife live in Colorado Springs, Colorado. As a single parent, driving isn’t easier, but it is the cheaper option. By hundreds of dollars! I spoke with Levi’s dad, got an oil change on my car, bought a small cooler and Wednesday morning Levi, and I were off for our first real adventure together. Here are some tips!! I hope you enjoy!
Visit as many people as you can along the way!
My family is huge. My friend base is huge. I was in the Military for six years, and I am pretty close with even the third cousins in my family. Close enough to call them the day before the trip and say ‘Hey, Levi and I are going on a road trip, can we visit?’ And it is not a big deal. We have loved ones all across the US and it was such a blessing to be able to see most of them. I hope to see the rest on our next big adventure! Levi got to hang with cousins he’s never met, meet aunties and uncles he’s never seen and visit two of my closest friends with whom I have been friends with for ten years or more. It’s also fun to see cities you would have never considered visiting. I (and a country singer I can’t remember the name of) call those ‘Fly over states.’ Had I never driven to Colorado, I would have never gone to Junction City, Kansas, I would have never stopped and spent so much time in Tennessee with family, and I wouldn’t have swooped over and visited friends near Fort Bragg, North Carolina. I wouldn’t have eaten cheese Kurds in some random city in Kansas; I wouldn’t have realized exactly how crappy of a state Missouri is (there were a lot of Trump stickers, Southern pride flags and the abundance of anti-abortion signs was kind of a huge bummer).
Take as many pictures as possible
Self-explanatory, but just in case, it’s because #memories.
Pack a cooler (I have no pictures of the cooler)
Eating healthy is kind of difficult, especially if you are on a time crunch. I packed a cooler with fruits and healthy snacks, along with water bottles and cold brews (coffee, not beer, for me). It kept me from having to stop at the gas station every time the little man wanted to snack on something, which saved money and time. We only stopped for actual meals, potty breaks, and photo-ops.
Don’t let the long drive make you grumpy!!
I chose to look ugly instead of being grumpy, instead of doing makeup I slept the extra 30 minutes. Also, I chose to drive, no one made me, so don’t be a dick! They all know you’re tired.
Be in the moment.
I have never had so much one on one time with my son. We talked a lot. We argued a lot. We saw a lot of spectacular views. I told him as many times as I could to enjoy this. Enjoy the moment because you never know what tomorrow will bring and next summer we might not make it to the Rocky mountains or the Smokey mountains. We held hands as much as possible, I explained as much about what we were looking at as I could, and we really just connected. He was such a champ that I have dubbed him ‘Road trip buddy.’ He hardly complained. By the end of the trip, he knew what getting in my car meant and would ask for his Tablet and water bottle as soon as he buckled himself into his seat.
I wouldn’t trade that trip for the world. The look on my son’s face when he saw his first mountain is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
Hali and Levi #LeviandHalidoamerica (Instagram).
I have taken a back seat to politics on my blog because I was simply exhausted from all of it. My blood pressure couldn’t take it, and the administration would piss me off every day. But I got time today.
I am OUTRAGED. I am outraged that the media is re-branding racists as “Alt-Right,” I am outraged at how many Nazi apologist I know.
I am outraged because like the late Heather Heyer had posted on her social media, I AM AND HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION. I am mad, and I have been mad since this country allowed Trump to continue to run after he continually showed his true colors to us. It was like half of the country was on Xanax and kept dozing off when Donald Trump would do something out of line.
But you know what really pissed me the fuck off today? Watching Donald J. Trump the President of the United States use this terrorist attack from White Supremacist / Neo-Nazi’s and shamelessly plug one of his businesses during a press conference where he was talking about Charlottesville.
Maybe; if you weren’t paying attention. Let me tell you what happened: at the end of yesterday’s press conference where reporters rightfully so were grilling 45 on why he waited so long to denounce Neo-Nazi’s. Little Donald went on the defense and claimed that he “wanted to make sure, unlike most politicians, that what I said was correct. Not make a quick statement.” Now If you know Donald J. Trump the way, most of Americans, heck the world knows him by now, you know that this statement like 96% of the statements he makes is full of shit. This guy is known for shooting off at the mouth with his little twitter fingers without facts on issues like President Obama’s birth certificate to him weighing in on Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart’s relationship. So to hear him say that he wanted to analyze all the data and make an informed statement on the matter just sounds like an excuse. So if I am playing devil’s advocate I could say that yes, maybe 45 is learning and is trying to make an effort to sound more educated and more poised as President but on the other hand, you have to wonder, why now? Why is this the issue Little Donald decided to wait to speak on? For me it’s just The Don showing his ass again, this is who he is.
I have come to expect this type of despicable behavior from our Man-child President. But what I wasn’t expecting was the self-proclaimed Deal Maker to shamelessly plug one of his businesses while making statements on the loss of human life.
If you didn’t catch how he used this moment to advertise his brand here is how it went:
Reporter: President Trump will you be going to Charlottesville?
Trump: I actually own one of the largest winery’s in the United States and it’s in Charlottesville.
He is not allowed to do that as commander in chief. But hey, aparently no one cares.
The other day one of my daughter’s friend’s mom sent me a friend request on Facebook. We had only met once for my daughters birthday party, but I added her anyways. Immediately she hits up my DM and says that we should get the girls together for a play date. I told her absolutely and to let me know when she wanted to get together. She quickly responded saying “great I can drop her off tomorrow after Girl Scouts.”
I was a little annoyed. For one this lady doesn’t even really know me, nor does she know my boyfriend who lives with me. (Not saying that we are bad people because we’re not. But what if we were? She wouldn’t have known because we never actually hung out and had no mutual friends according to our Facebook friends list.)
I was also annoyed because this “play date” sounded more like “I need a babysitter.”
So I compiled a list of Play date dos and don’ts:
Do: if it is indeed a play date, you should accompany your kid
Feed your child something before you come over unless the other Mom said she was making lunch or something.
Bring a bottle of wine! Get to know the other mom while the kids play!
Lastly, encourage your child to help clean up any mess the kids may have made together.
Don’t assume that the other mom set up a play date so you could get some errands done.
If you do have to leave to run an errand, make it quick. I’ve had moms say they were just running home to grab something only to return four hours later. It’s just rude, it’s one thing if you and the mom are close friends, but if you’re just acquaintances, it can feel like you’re just dumping your kid off on her.
We’re all just trying to raise good kids and socializing outside of school is a big part of that so play dates are important.
Comment with some of your Play Date dos or don’ts. Or tell us a play date horror story haha!
You killed yourself today.
Yesterday you asked me for forgiveness. I grew up, became a woman, became a mom without you. I went through all my childhood milestones without you. But none the less I forgave you. I told you that all of that was in the past. The only thing that mattered now was today and the future.
You cried over the phone and told me you loved me, and I had no idea how much it meant to hear those words. You kept repeating that; “you have no idea, you have no idea how it makes me feel to hear you say that. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Click.
That was the last time we spoke. I went out that night to celebrate my birthday with my boyfriend as we had discussed the day before. You told me you were happy that I was going out and that I should enjoy my birthday. You said “Happy Birthday.” 28 birthdays had passed, this was the first one you got to say Happy Birthday. This one was special. 29, the last year in my twenties and I had finally started a meaningful/healing relationship with my long lost biological dad.
We were talking every day, sometimes three times a day. I knew you were going through a tough time. I made sure to answer every single one of your calls. I thought I was making a difference in your life. I figured I was helping you get through your issues. I knew you were in pain. I knew you were suffering. The morning before you ended your suffering you texted me a picture from the post office of a box that you said held my inheritance. I thought nothing of it. I thought that you were just giving me this gift as a birthday present. I didn’t put two and two together…
You left me here, alone to pick up the pieces. The first thought that goes through my mind is that I cannot imagine the pain you must have been feeling to decide to take your life; that the pain you felt was so intense that you felt that if you just stopped breathing that you would finally have some peace, then I feel it. I feel the pain you felt because by deciding to end your life you did not stop the pain, you just passed it on to me. You left me wondering what could I have said or done differently to let you know that you mattered to me. I tried to be there for you as much as I could daddy. I thought that I was lifting your spirits through your rough time. Were our talks not enough? Was it something I said or didn’t say?
I am angry with you papi. You hurt me by doing this. You left me with so many unanswered questions that I deserved to have answered after all this time.
Did I cross your mind when you decided to sit on the floor against your bed and put my grandfather’s pistol to your head? Did you know the damage it would do to me? We healed one wound I had carried for a very long time, only for you to break my heart all over again in a permanent way.
I love you and pray for your soul daddy. I pray you found peace. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.
If you are contemplating ending your pain please remember: SOMEONE OUT THERE NEEDS YOU TO KEEP LIVING.
1-800-273-8255 Call the National Suicide hotline
or text LIFE to 61222.
2 lbs of chicken drumsticks
Two packets of Ranch seasoning
Bottle of BBQ Sauce
First, season thawed chicken with garlic power.
Place chicken in crockpot for about 3 hours (2 and half hours usually does the trick)
Then take the drumsticks out of crockpot and put on a plate
Mix Ranch packets in a bowl with BBQ sauce.
Empty crockpot and wash it out.
Put the chicken back in the crockpot and pour over the BBQ / Ranch sauce
Turn the crockpot on for another half hour.
After 30 minutes; place aluminum foil on a baking pan and set the oven to broil and take out when the chicken looks crispy! Enjoy!
I am just tickled. The FBI is investigating Donald Trump, there was no evidence of wiretapping, Tomi Lahren got suspended AND its the first day of Spring!
In case you have been ignoring the news (I know I want to ignore the news too sometimes. However, I love reality TV and at this point the never ending shit-show saga that is the Trump administration is almost more entertaining than Love and Hip Hop. But then I remember that the news is actually real (Despite what our small handed leader says.), and I get depressed again. Anyways, if you have been ignoring it here is what you missed:
The FBI director James Comey said in sworn testimony to the House Intelligence Committee that the FBI launched an investigation into 2016 Trump campaign’s links with Russia in their efforts to intervene in the presidential election.
Comey also refused Trump’s claim that President Obama wiretapped Trump Tower during the election, “There was no evidence.” No shit, we all knew the truth, but I am glad they are calling him out. They are letting Little Donald know in front of the whole world that when you spread lies about someone, it only makes the person spreading the lie look bad.
“The Department of Justice and Trump administration must allow Director Comey’s investigation to move forward without any interference, meddling, or political pressure of any kind whatsoever,” Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said.
This historic investigation could potentially open Pandora’s box for the Trump administration and spill all of the tea. And I will be right here like:
Speaking of taking seats, what’s her name? Tammy Lahren right? Tomi, that’s it, she was forced by TheBlaze to have a seat for, guess what? HAVING AN OPINION THAT DIFFERED FROM THEIRS!
Yup that is right, the conservative darling is getting the cold shoulder for statements she made on The View. ICYM The View, Lahren said that she is Pro-choice and called Pro-life conservatives hypocrites saying: I can’t sit here and be a hypocrite and say I’m for limited government, but I think the government should decide what women do with their bodies. Sheesh, if only there were a movement out there of women fighting to make sure that Tomi Lahren’s could keep her abortion rights. If only there were like a March millions of women, showing up and taking a stand for her right to be Pro-choice. I wonder if Tomi’s stance on sexism will change if she gets fired from The Blaze. I wonder if she will take her own advice: that all she will need to do is work hard to succeed as a woman in America. It’s almost as if she didn’t realize that she was accountable to the same people who were paying her to bash women in the first place. Oh no, no, no, no Tomi, you didn’t realize the way this patriarchy thing was built? No woman is immune, not even you Tomi. I am sorry you had to learn the hard way. But, it’s okay if you are ready Tomi, my friends in the feminist community are willing to welcome you in and show you a thing or two.
Be ready for some juicy articles to come!
My Muslim friends try to be understanding because of my culture (I am American: 100%, and let’s face it, we Americans like to drink, party, have co-ed friendships, hug those of the opposite sex, etc.) I talk to them regularly about the things that I want to change in myself. I think they get it, and if they don’t at least, they are still my friends despite my spiritual short comings. Every day feels like a personal Jihad in my head. I go back and forth with the things that I do wrong as a Muslim. I give myself pep talks. I set goals. I put them on paper and even sometimes put them into action.
My Non-Muslim friends try to be understanding during Ramadan. They don’t wince when they see me in a Turban or a scarf. If I need to pray they will stay quiet for the few minutes that it takes for me to get it done. One of my favorite couples said they ‘wished all Muslims were like me.” I pardoned their ignorance since I am probably the only Muslim they know on a personal level. They are Marines who served in predominantly Muslim countries, so in all their experience, “Muslims” have always been shooting at them. What they, and many other people, don’t realize is that there are a lot of Muslims that are like me. People often mistake them for Spanish people. Even if they wear a scarf and don’t drink or go to clubs, it doesn’t mean they aren’t like you. They have dreams. They share recipes, go shopping, send each other funny memes, and go to brunch. They have Christmas, Birthday and dinner parties constantly. Just because we are Muslim doesn’t mean we are Alien. It doesn’t mean we are oppressed. Do I look oppressed? I have a neck tattoo, and I am drinking a Latte in the greatest country in the world. What is oppressing, is YOU trying to make ME feel like my friends and I are oppressed. The problem is people mistake culture for Islam. They let the want for power, get in the way of the message.
Islam gave women rights 1400 years ago. Rights that women in the West weren’t afforded until the fucking 1930s. BUT ONCE AGAIN, people are mistaking Islam for culture. Religion isn’t dangerous, people are. I’ve met plenty of White male Christians who slap their girlfriends around, but it doesn’t mean Christianity promotes abuse.
I am sorry that you haven’t spent any real time with Muslims. I am sorry you haven’t sipped coffee and smoked hookah with us on Friday nights. I am sorry you think we are so foreign and evil. You want us to ‘go back to where we came from, but I was born in Orlando, Florida. You think I am ‘just like you’ when you see me pushing a bottle of wine around in my Target cart but when you see me on Fridays before or after Jummah (Friday Prayer. Christians go to Church on Sunday, we go on Friday), you treat me like a spectacle. You look at me like you fear me as if I am the enemy. When I go to breakfast with my friends you look at them from the corners of your eyes like you are uncomfortable. As if we shouldn’t be in Cracker Barrel because they are wearing a hijab paired with matching heels. They are the nicest people I’ve ever met and your looks of disapproval/fear make me disgusted. It makes me want to curse you out, cause a scene, make you feel stupid. I can’t, though, I must mind my manners. I have to smile at you. I have to make it a point to have a good time with them in public. I feel as though I am some type of liaison between the White Suburbs of America and the local hookah lounge. I have to display our friendship because I couldn’t possibly be Muslim, too. We are all Human. Believe it or not, we have a lot more in common than you all think.
A Muslim, a Pagan and an Athiest walked into a bar, they took shots and remained best friends, despite their completely different beliefs on the ‘Hereafter.’ This is America ❤
Also, for you young Muslims that may be reading, I am not condoning the consumption of Alcohol. It’s not worth it. It dries your skin and makes you act like an ass. Stay the path and pray for me.
Also, Check out this spoken word poem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=II42IpzskRI
Ten years ago, I was 18 and I boarded a plane that would eventually lead me to one of the greatest adventures of my lifetime. When I arrived at my first stop, I was greeted by another group of soldiers who were going to continue with us to Missouri. Immediately I saw one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. She was sporting a tom boy look complete with overalls, a striped shirt and a cigarette in her mouth. She was giving off serious no fucks given vibes and I instantly knew we were going to be friends. Fast forward to now and life is completely different from our drunken escapades overseas. I am happy to introduce Mom Jawn’s newest writer and partner Halima Hammad!
Salaam everyone! I hope you are all doing fabulous! If you’re not, I hope you’re finding a way to change it 😊. If I seem to bounce around here a bit, I apologize, I am blogging in between house chores (I just moved and I now have tile floor. The sweeping and mopping never ends).
I am exceedingly excited to be a new edition to Mom Jawn!! I have known the founder, Winter Olivia, for about ten years now. I never thought our journey would take us from E-Nothings in the Military to this!! I also just realized that we are old enough to measure friendships by decade. Now, I need a wine spritzer.
I live in Tampa, Florida with my four-year-old (Leviticus) and our dog, Pico. I am a Muslim woman; not a very good one but I do my best and I get better at it every day, Alhamdulillah. (Any of you Internet Sheiks want to have a go at me, don’t waste your time. There is nothing you can tell me about myself that I don’t tell my reflection on the daily). We spend a ton of time at the beach, enjoying the local foodie joints that the Tampa bay area has to offer, indoor rock climbing and going to artsy kid friendly festivals. I do have 50/50 custody, so I get to party a little more than most moms. I live about ten minutes from my ex-husband (my son’s father), we have a pretty bad ass co-parent life. There are ups and downs, but, we love our son more than we hated each other. Our biggest fight is usually about the kids’ underwear or his new girlfriend’s poor manners. We will talk all about all of this in upcoming post! It makes me want to rip my skin off so I have a lot to say about these types of things.
Other things we will chat about include, but are not limited to:
Good days Fillers
Messy hair days (as my friend Rachael calls them) weddings
Orange lies Should I wear a Hijab?
Parenting The Military
When do kids start wiping their own ass? Why am I constantly losing my Tupperware?!
Food Current events
Syria whatever the fuck else tickles my fancy.
Old Gregg (Youtube his name 😊you will probably hate me for it haha)
Tootles for now, I need to build a bookcase so I can finish unpacking. The joys of living alone as a woman! I am looking forward to chatting with all of you. Don’t forget to catch us on The Twitter and Insta! You know you want to see what we made for dinner!
Twitter: @Halibear1216 and @momjawn